Our life experiences are limited
One of the reasons for our doubts about a point of view, before a new occupation or in a crisis situation is that our human experience is really limited. And not only by age, but also by origin, chosen occupation and social circle, income, interests, quantity and quality of communication and free time.
“I know that I don’t know anything” is the approach of self-confident people who understand the boundaries of their competence, are in no hurry to draw hasty conclusions and judge by themselves. Asking myself "Do I understand enough to make such a decision?", "Can I get some guarantees in an unfamiliar field of activity?" not only normal, but also very useful - especially if decisions concern not only you, but other people as well.
Way out: listen to other people and their stories
A great way to deal with cognitive doubts is not only to read about unfamiliar issues, but also to talk to people whose experiences differ from yours. Memoirs, documentaries, films that can be used as anthropology, all fiction and art to help you.
What's even more interesting is getting an alternative point of view from someone else's mouth. Not sure which grocery inventory is best to stock? Discuss this with those who have already prepared. Do you want to take advantage of the free time and master a new business? Talk to acquaintances with the same experience, discuss your own strengths and weaknesses, think about risks and changes with financially savvy people. Interested in how to solve problems with your child? Read books by child psychologists, talk with his peers and their parents. Are you going to oppose in public? Learn negotiation techniques and prepare effective arguments based on the beliefs of the other party.
Thirst for something new goes hand in hand with anxiety
Man as a living species is a conservative creature. All of us, despite different levels of stress resistance, find it difficult to break close ties, change the field of activity and place of residence, a different regime, the establishment of new habits, and adaptation to the changing social situation. No matter how we want to change our life and weighed all the pros and cons, any changes will be accompanied by anxiety or even panic - for the sake of survival, people were evolutionarily invented.
Predictability is a necessary component for building a strategy, inner peace and relative confidence in the future. It is always scary to retrain and compete, and finding a genuine inner necessity is one of the components of a serious restructuring.
Way out: don't push yourself out of your comfort zone and choose yourself
Forced coaching with calls to dive into the unknown without fear of anything, has little to do with reality - such slogans are harmful to people in vulnerable conditions. Waiting for a child, the first day at a new job, an evening in an unfamiliar city and close contact with a stranger, even a potentially pleasant one, will be one hundred percent way out of the comfort zone, which must be decided only if it really takes you - in this case, enthusiasm will overwhelm panic.
Doubts about who to communicate with and what to spend time with should always be correlated with your sincere motivation. Starting a family because it's time, not because this is the right person? Are you agreeing to a job because it is prestigious, not because it arouses curiosity? Skydiving to prove to yourself that you are not a coward? Are you traveling because it is accepted in your environment or because you are recharged with energy in new circumstances? Do you communicate with these people because you are used to them or because you like them?
Harsh attacks tame enthusiasm
For some reason, in the domestic context, harsh remarks about appearance, character, choice and result have always seemed adequate motivation. A slap on the back to avoid slouching. Comparison with others in order to study better. "Why do you walk like an elephant?", "With your abilities, no exact sciences, you are a humanist", "it is better not to do anything than this." After such "motivational" remarks, doubts about new attempts take root in the character.
Why try something if it gets criticized? Why bother, if at best they won't notice? Why start if it turns out badly at first and still does not surpass the greats? After such upbringing, there is no choice - if you need to become at least a prize-winner of the championship, you start to doubt whether to go to the gym. After regular analysis of mistakes by the boss in front of colleagues, the motivation to do more than necessary, if not to release everything on the brakes, falls. With the beginning of a new relationship, offensive remarks that former partners said come to mind. In general, is it worth it?