Identity Crisis: What To Do If You Have Lost Yourself

Identity Crisis: What To Do If You Have Lost Yourself
Identity Crisis: What To Do If You Have Lost Yourself

Video: Identity Crisis: What To Do If You Have Lost Yourself

Video: How I lost my identity but found my worth | Jeannie Woller | TEDxUSU 2022, December
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Asking philosophical questions about the meaning of life and your purpose is normal and even good. But if reflections on such important topics lead to a dead end, spoil the mood, interfere with normal functioning and drive you into a blues, you may be experiencing an identity crisis. This concept was first introduced by the famous American psychologist Eric Erickson. In his writings, he paid special attention to the midlife crisis, but noted that any period of personality reformation can lead to a loss of self-determination. The good news is that a competent way out of any crisis helps a person to grow and develop.

There are a number of signs by the combination of which you can recognize anxiety. First of all, this is a painful search for oneself, which is accompanied by negative thoughts and frustration. If for a long time (more than a month) you have been trying to rethink your purpose, values ​​and aspirations, but you do not get the desired answers, if every day at work you ask yourself "What am I doing here?" or look at your partner and think “Why are we together?”, it is worth carefully analyzing your condition.

The impetus for a crisis can be strong stress and significant changes in life: loss or change of work, separation, loss of a loved one, serious illness, any highly traumatic experience or shock. The causes of the crisis lie not only in the bad. Moving to another continent that you dreamed and planned for five years, or marriage can also be an impetus. If you feel devastated after the wedding, this does not necessarily mean that you chose the wrong person: you just need to rethink your new status.

Sometimes a severe crisis and self-dissatisfaction can lead to depression - a dangerous condition that should never be started. It is better to see a doctor, he can choose the right therapy. But in many cases, an identity crisis is simply a transitional state to be experienced. To make it easier, try special techniques.

Photo: Jasmine Ornelas / Unsplash
Photo: Jasmine Ornelas / Unsplash

© Jasmine Ornelas / Unsplash

Explore yourself

Identity crisis is a great opportunity to really get to know yourself, discover something new and become more aware. To find answers to the main questions of life, the universe and everything else was not so painful, try to change the tone of these questions.

For example, stop asking "Why?" and start figuring out "Why?" The first question will force you to dig in the past, and the second will set you up to find a solution in the future. Make a questionnaire for yourself with all the important questions and fill it out. Remember, this is not an exam, so there are no wrong answers. Moreover, it is not necessary to answer all the questions at once, and the answers may change at any time. This includes asking yourself: “What encourages me? What helps you to get through a difficult day? " Write a list of everything that improves your mood, and refer to it as often as possible during a crisis (and indeed throughout your life).

In especially sad moments, a cup of hot chocolate, a walk with a friend, sports, or even watching a reality show about renovation can help you: do not deny yourself the pleasures and in no case blame yourself for them. Another important question is "What makes my days meaningful?" What helps you fall asleep with a sense of accomplishment, pride, and joy? Perhaps you are unhappy with your job and are not yet ready to look for an alternative - but you may well enroll in some useful volunteer program or courses to learn new skills. New knowledge, among other things, helps to fight depression and increase the flexibility of the mind.

Find support

One in the field is not a warrior, even when it comes to internal throwing and searching. Social support really makes it easier to cope with stressful situations, difficult emotional states and personality crises. Try to discuss your situation with friends and family - they may have gone through something similar or are going through right now, so they can share their experience. In any case, you can count on, if not on advice, then at least on empathy and support. If you find that compassionate compassion is lacking, do not be afraid to contact a psychologist or support groups (especially when it comes to a crisis after an illness or loss). Another great option is to join some kind of sports section: team play brings people closer together and gives a lot of positive emotions.

Photo: kevin laminto / Unsplash
Photo: kevin laminto / Unsplash

© kevin laminto / Unsplash

Be bolder

Perhaps the most important thing in the story of finding yourself is to look for yourself, and not for an image that meets someone's expectations: a boyfriend, a mother, or the whole society as a whole. At 30, you may find that you don't want to be the big boss at all. Refusing to climb the career ladder in a large company, you risk becoming an outsider in the eyes of society. Or, let's say you are not yet ready to become a parent. Buy an apartment. Get into a serious relationship. It can happen the other way around: while everyone is constantly traveling around, getting up on the surf, writing books and sitting on the splits, you just want to come home from work at six in the evening and watch TV shows.

Society can always condemn you - when you do something, do not do something, or do it differently. But the beauty of society is that it is ephemeral and impersonal. But real friends, good colleagues and loyal partners are quite real people. They are more likely to not judge choices that make you happy. Whatever you do, whatever values ​​you adhere to and whatever ideals you strive for, you will always find like-minded people who will support you. So the main thing is to deal with yourself. And the rest will surely follow.>

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