What to do: Learn to relax and allocate internal resources.
One of the most popular causes of apathy is not laziness, as people like to talk about it, but chronic fatigue and overwork, which we simply stopped paying attention to. If you are accustomed to not getting enough sleep on a regular basis (that is, sleeping less than seven hours a day), always being in touch at work, have not taken a vacation for a long time (or spend it, in fact, not resting, but pleasing others), almost do not move, then you are overworked long ago. Lack of rest robs our brains of critical thinking and prevents us from seeing things in perspective. Indeed, how can you find motivation to move on if you don't give yourself any regular encouragement? Just rest is important for our motivation no less than the usual salary, gifts to ourselves, delicious food and a comfortable standard of living.
Our upbringing tends to extol workaholism, and many of us have not been taught how to rest properly: rest is often associated with a loss of control and missed opportunities to improve and do more. Rest, as well as work, often has to be learned in adulthood - and any learning should proceed gradually. So that the change does not come too abruptly, try to divide your long-awaited vacation plan into weeks.
In the first week, mainly restore sleep - by all means get back the necessary seven hours of sleep (and even more) at the expense of other, less urgent matters. For an experiment, you can move your old hobbies, communication and the habit of starting the day by reading mail and instant messengers. Track your mood after this week - getting enough sleep usually brings back an optimistic outlook.
Next week, while maintaining a new sleeping habit, limit your work time - create a routine and hours inside yourself when you are not distracted by work issues (but put them off until the work day itself).
In the third week, regulate the weekend: a clear work week and two days of rest, in which you do only things pleasant to you (of course, if possible).
In the fourth week, calculate how much time you have, if sleep or work is taken out of the brackets, and what this time is spent on: how much time you spend on the road, how much for everyday life, how much for communication, education, helping loved ones. The numbers for these three weeks will clearly show you what is the cause of constant overwork, and fixed sleep and working hours will help you to fairly prioritize and be realistic about your own resources.
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Your calendar is packed
What to do: set aside the necessary time only for yourself and not measure life by efficiency.
This point overlaps with the previous one, but does not duplicate it. Very often, our diary is packed with "favorite" things and activities in which we always achieve success, rejoice in victories and live life to the fullest: the morning starts with a jog, the day continues at our favorite work, we spend the evening with our family, watch new movies at night, read important books and chat with friends. In the meantime, we go to meetings, go out to dinner with colleagues, visit parents and go on business trips, take lessons at a driving school and learn foreign languages.
This kind of life can look good on a diary and on Instagram, but it is most likely psychologically exhausting. You can't be at your best 24/7, read only useful books, manage to help everyone, listen to audio courses in traffic, play educational games with children and cook the best dinners in the world. Rather, you can - for a while, until you stop wanting to do anything. Even favorite things in a tightly packed calendar cease to please, and the only option is improvisation and time for yourself.
Here, as in the first paragraph, it is worthwhile to act progressively. According to the list of priorities, release the next week from cases, without doing which you will definitely not let anyone down. See how much free time you have and if you have enough of it. Don't plan anything and act according to the situation. If you want to take a walk during these couple of hours, feel free to go into the fresh air. Take care of yourself - please. Call your friends - yes. To read a book - of course. The main thing - do not plan to read a book, call friends and walk a few hours before, give yourself time to feel this natural impulse for a specific, not a habitual occupation. And most importantly, if you have no desires, reward yourself with the luxury of just lying and spitting at the ceiling. Perhaps it is this half hour over the past year that will bring you the most joy and you will understandthat they greatly underestimated the restorative power of the most commonplace idleness.
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You have a difficult environment
What to do: distance yourself from difficult people or clearly outline the boundaries of your interests.
It is very difficult to keep yourself motivated when your familiar surroundings do not inspire you. We underestimate the importance of support of loved ones, the mood of the team and the attention of friends in our daily life: if our efforts are taken for granted, and people around us do not receive praise, it is very difficult to fulfill even our favorite duties. That is why, if in your life the issue of the lack of freedom (that is, points 1 and 2) is resolved, you need to pay attention to the people with whom you spend the most time. First, analyze how you feel at home, whether you want to return there and what emotions you most often experience with your household. Do you live alone or with someone? How and when did this situation develop? EncouragingDo your closest people take care of you? Is it found good in your daily life? Do you value your actions and achievements? Do they manage to cheer you up in a difficult situation?
Very often, people living together lose boundaries and begin to take the second person for granted, be it a daughter, mother, wife or girlfriend, and it is very unpleasant to be in such a function role. Track, after communicating with which people you often feel worse and whether this communication is regular.
How does your work environment work? Do you have an established team or does everyone pull the blanket over themselves? Do you have the right to be wrong? Think about what kind of people you are surrounded by in general and whether they give you the necessary mood, inspiration, energy. If you have not been interested in your circle for a long time, if you are tired in a couple or in a work collective, but these relationships determine a third or half of your time, it is not at all surprising that at some point you will not want anything but loneliness and doing nothing.
You stopped seeing perspective
What to do: Get outside perspective and find new reasons to move on.
Repeating the same actions every day sharpens our motivation, even if we are doing what we love and interacting with pleasant people. “I don’t want anything” - very often a consequence of the fact that you are confused about where specific relationships, deeds and people are taking you, or the correct feeling that past motivations have stopped working. This often happens when we outgrow externally imposed goals. For example, we work at a job that our parents wanted for us, and not ourselves. Or agreed to in a hurry a few years ago. We continue a relationship in which nothing interesting has happened for a long time. We solve material issues and put off the daily joys of life. We have a strategic plan that does not inspire, and we execute it from month to month. Alone we are pulling a large family business or several family members, while not getting any pleasure,no thanks. Motivation is leaving, your eye is blurred, your choice seems to be wrong, and you are not yet able to make a new one - there is no necessary distance to separate yourself from life's circumstances.
In this situation, there is a danger of accepting someone else's point of view as your own. Instead of advice, ask people you love and trust for an outside perspective. Let them describe your best qualities and great achievements, and voice your progress over the past few years. Let them tell you what your strengths appeal to the most, highlight your specific features, and voice the important stages of your path. It is not at all necessary to take all the comments on a pencil, but in case of long confusion, a look from the outside (especially if several people are talking to you frankly) will help restore the lost ground under your feet and a sense of your own worth.
Don't be afraid to admit that your old goals no longer appeal to you. It’s okay to say “I don’t want my business, I want to work for someone,” or “It's time for me to get out of this relationship,” or “I chose the wrong job,” or “This housing is not for me. pocket. " By shifting your focus to what others recognize, you are more likely to find momentum to take action in a new direction. And even observing yourself instead of denying dissatisfaction will be an important step towards something new.
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You don't know how to praise yourself
What to do: Learn to notice daily victories and reward yourself for your efforts.
A very common educational problem - praising grades and underestimating efforts - badly affects the well-being and self-perception of an adult. It seems that things are done, the checkboxes on the important list have been put, but you really only care about the stress of the next day. You can't breathe out and pat yourself on the shoulder internally, you underestimate your merits and focus on the gratitude and comments of others (and people are not so inclined to praise and cheer each other up at the right moment), all the results seem insufficient. The perspective is skewed: each new day carries only a new to-do list, and no one will thank you for it. The way out is to get used to praising yourself for little things. It will seem very unnatural at first,but you need to learn to notice your achievements on your own and stop the inner critic, if not the tyrant.
Think about how many things you do, relatively speaking, according to the list, and how many - automatically. Does the fact that you do something automatically means that it is unimportant? Putting things in order, making a delicious breakfast, congratulating friends on the holidays, doing exercises, taking care of yourself and others, checking the child's homework, visiting their parents, watering the flowers and feeding the cat - yes, it is these trifles that often consume so much time. Add to this the daily chores at work and the amount of new knowledge and contacts you get every day just doing your job well.
Often, this number of things is accompanied by study, helping others, raising children, charity, organizing events - and this is already a truly huge contribution that it is time to notice and reckon with the effort spent. Write down your week based on the results of large and seemingly insignificant deeds, remember everything that would not have been done without you and everyone you helped. Such a list will clearly show how often you should acknowledge your merits and smile at your own reflection for the great effort.
You don't know how to want nothing
What to do: Stop accusations of lack of desire.
Childless people are told that they need to have children. People who are not in a relationship are taught that they need a relationship. People with modest incomes are told that they should earn more. Adults are told to preserve youth. Young people - that they need to grow up as soon as possible. All around us they impose desires that have very little to do with our characters, temperaments and plans. The question "What do you want?" sounds in the store, and at the reception with a therapist, and at a job interview, and in a conversation with friends. Or you may want nothing at all. Of course, temporarily - a person cannot otherwise. But it is perfectly normal not to want anything at a given moment in time, not to suffer from a feeling of inferiority and not to make excuses to anyone for it.
Remember all the desires imposed on you and see if you live them in the present. Is there much around you that is dictated by your motivation, or is most of this a compromise between your desire and someone else's? Have you ever allowed yourself to want nothing at all? Try to focus on the small events of each day and track your emotions in relation to them. Don't make long-term plans that are breathtaking. Try saying no on unnecessary occasions for at least a few weeks. Shield yourself from outside influences, including unsolicited, well-meaning advice. Settle for enough and don't be distracted from the main task - don't blame yourself for not wanting something more. Notice what your daily comfort is impossible without, and what you can sacrifice. See how many thingscontacts, affairs describes a life convenient for you. Try to do the minimum and trace your feelings from it. When the parameters of the necessary and sufficient are adjusted inside, real desires will not take long.>