Hobby: Emotional Intelligence And Katori Shinto-ryu Victoria Shimanskaya

Hobby: Emotional Intelligence And Katori Shinto-ryu Victoria Shimanskaya
Hobby: Emotional Intelligence And Katori Shinto-ryu Victoria Shimanskaya

Video: Hobby: Emotional Intelligence And Katori Shinto-ryu Victoria Shimanskaya

Video: Hobby: Emotional Intelligence And Katori Shinto-ryu Victoria Shimanskaya

At school, Victoria thought she would become a director, but in the end she chose psychology. When she had children, she saw that in kindergartens and schools, many problems arise due to the insufficient development of emotional intelligence, both students and teachers.

Later, the girl created the first patented methodology for building a skill profile and teaching soft skills (interpersonal communication) in Russia, taking into account individual development paths, and founded Skillfolio. The project brought together the expertise of her husband, who has extensive experience in technology companies, and her knowledge of methodology and psychology.

Now the couple makes not only projects for top companies, but also opens courses for everyone. Some practices are described in the book "Communication", where more than 40 exercises for the development of emotional intelligence are given. Viktoria Shimanskaya believes that everyone should have a favorite sport for a balanced work of the brain and body. For her, such a hobby was "Tenshin seden katori shinto-ryu" - a martial arts system that emerged about 600 years ago in Japan.

At the age of nine, I built my first psychological theory and shared it with my dad. “You see, there is one more person between two people - an image. And when someone thinks badly about another, he does not perceive the person directly, but sees this image,”I said.

After the last call, I walked along the embankments of St. Petersburg and realized that I wanted to study to be a psychologist. At Leningrad State University, we were taught management competencies, teaching, psychology in marketing, at the same time I began to conduct trainings for companies.

When I gave birth to two children, I saw that there was not enough emotional development in school and kindergartens, both in children and in teachers. I started to develop soft skills methodology.

We created Skillfolio to target and develop talent. Our model was reviewed by seven PhDs. It is regularly ordered for leading universities, educational institutions and companies.

Photo: press service
Photo: press service

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As a result of passing a free test on the site, everyone sees their strengths and weaknesses. Imagine a meeting: someone is writing in a corner, another is shouting, a third is throwing ideas. Depending on this, a role-based behavioral profile is determined, for example, there is a marketer - the creator of ideas, and there is a marketer-analyst. He will sit at tables for three hours, study the target audience, he will be fine. Put the first one at the table, he will start to shake.

It cannot be that a person is a loser in all respects. Emotional intelligence exercises provide an opportunity to manifest strengths.

Teenagers are often not self-conscious and not motivated enough. Passing one or two leads from our test will affect the shape of the entire pyramid of intellectual and emotional skills.

At the last conference on education, I urged not to turn soft skills into another pressure tool. The worst that we can come to: "Yours for creativity 2, for critical thinking 3".

Only seeing sincere interest do children get used to asking the question: "What have I developed in myself?" When teachers constantly cross everything out with a red pen and write: “This is not so,” a person by the age of 14 forgets how to understand what he is good at and what he wants to develop.

Our tutors receive feedback from children, for example, at Artek. After the quest for financial literacy, they note on their phones, for example: "I have upgraded my creative thinking and emotional intelligence."

Adolescence is a kind of bundle of talents and complexes. It is very important to identify them in a short time, to win the confidence of the young man and show him a perspective. I recently returned from a training in Yekaterinburg, where I worked with teenagers aged 14-16, introduced them to trends and explained their own strengths, and as a result, they came up with professions of the future.

We have offered many projects related to health and ecology. Some wanted to evaluate art, determine the degree of destruction of paintings and identify forgeries. Others have come up with the profession of "self-driving car designer". It will instantly pick up music and change the interior depending on the driver's mood.

Nowadays many people go to study as programmers. It's like in our time, for some reason, everyone went to lawyers and economists, and where are these lawyers now? When they grow up, the average programmer salary will be significantly lower.

I always tell parents: "If you want to help your child pass the exams well, imagine that he will be a courier." At this moment, people get scared. "Okay, happy courier." They still have fright on their faces.

When a child works for some time as a courier, waiter, barista, it develops communication skills well, eliminates barriers. It is better to take time to think in this way, so as not to sit for 15 years at the same job that you really do not like, with the boss who yells at you, and once a year, maybe, go to Egypt.

Photo: press service
Photo: press service

© press service

If children have been learning soft skills for some time, they are better involved in the educational process, even if the teacher does not change anything. They already understand better why they need to learn.

I ask teachers how math can help a child who wants to become a filmmaker. They do not know.

Every child should be interested, even if he then changes the director to the doctor ten times. There must be a connection between his fantasies, dreams and small steps in teaching right now.

More than 40 thousand people passed our test. Now we are making new short versions in a playful way. Soon, depending on the results, we will be attaching YouTube videos and films to the resume so that children see the existing world in terms of their advantages.

There is a myth that professional skills conflict with soft skills. It is not so - if a person develops them. But this does not mean that on every occasion he will rejoice and applaud. He understands emotions better and may not react to the behavior of another. If someone is shouting, he will not shout back, but will try to understand what is the reason for the shout.

Oddly enough, leaders often yell at those they pin their hopes on. Why raise your voice to those who are poorly performing? You can just fire. The subordinate thinks: "Since he shouts, I won't work at all, they don't appreciate me here."

If someone yells at you, you can suggest sitting down and talking to figure out what you are doing wrong. If the boss shouts to assert himself, you can turn on a sports commentator: "Well, it's the third second, the decibels have increased by a few more points." The main thing is not to laugh at this moment.

There are no untalented people, the problem is that many go to the nearest university or where it is easier to enroll. As a result, some consider themselves to be good employees, but do not understand why they need it.

More than 50 % of adults aged 30–40 admit that they do not enjoy their work. But oddly enough, successful people think about the development of emotional intelligence more often.

Photo: press service
Photo: press service

© press service

If, after the training, the participants remain in their field, they start to like it more, they think about how to earn more and realize themselves. There are those who leave top positions and create bakeries or open a brand of knitted clothes and earn great money - a little less than before, but they get much more pleasure.

This is a question about inner honesty: "What do I really want?" There are people who, on the contrary, close their small companies and go to work as hired employees.

Recently, we took part in the launch of the updated website mbm.ru together with the Small Business of Moscow State Budgetary Institution, where more than 40 thousand educational programs for entrepreneurs are presented. Development trajectories there are selected individually, depending on the profile of competencies, on what knowledge in business, finance or emotional intelligence you lack.

At birth, the emotional intelligence of boys and girls is the same. Then, at about the age of three, boys begin to be treated more strictly, not to show such vivid emotions, and as a result, they recognize them worse.

I think in a professional environment they began to take me seriously because I know how to change and fully live roles. Wife, mother, boss, consultant. At the beginning of my career, I, a 20-year-old blonde, were often offered to drink champagne instead of negotiations, but then they paid attention to how I reasoned, and the conversation was about business.

There are girls who complain in an offended voice that they are not taken seriously. We must learn to find the states of “women”, “entrepreneurs” and be adequate to the situation. For this, it is important, among other things, to have a balanced upbringing so that fathers devote more time to their daughters.

In order to remove obstacles for women in their careers, it is enough to remove the item “gender” in the resume. As an ambassador of the “Community of Women - Entrepreneurs of Moscow,” I believe that there is no need to introduce quotas for places for women, it is more important to help find their destination, and not go somewhere, because there is a quota there.

First you need to find your person, and then something to do. I met a Katori Shinto-ryu coach a couple of years ago at a joint master class, where he talked about the body, and I talked about emotional intelligence.

Most of the classes are held using bokken - wooden training swords, twice a week. For my birthday they gave me a real sword, and now I study with it for 20-30 minutes.

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Photo: press service

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Life is not like in a movie, where the characters are waving their sword in all directions. Those who train with the sword will swing too hard and cut off the top of their ear. But, as a rule, no one hurts anyone during training and competition.

It is impossible to properly learn to control your body if you have not repeated the same movements a thousand times without losing awareness. In this case, the movements should not be automatic.

In today's world, we want to switch faster. At first, I was distracted by about 15 repetitions, then I caught myself and returned.

There are roles in dancing, a leading partner, a musical rhythm that drives you. There is no such thing here, so you need the highest level of empathy. When I feel my partner move, my sword and the opponent's sword move in sync. Synchronization occurs not only of movements, but also of thoughts, you may not even touch each other.

There is no such state of concentration in other sports. If in a real fight you were distracted for a split second or were mistaken by a millimeter, then that's all - you would be killed.

The sword gives me the opportunity to concentrate. Even if I go somewhere, I do several kata every day. (The sequence of movements in a duel with an imaginary opponent. - RBC Style.) Training brings a state of harmony and control over the body, keeps me in good shape.

Photo: press service
Photo: press service

© press service

Karate, on the other hand, is about dynamics. There we practice "strikes in defense", otherwise we can beat off the kidneys.

My son and daughter are also engaged in karate. My son is 14 years old, he wants to practice with a sword, and I say: "Work on awareness."

All religions and philosophies are about the same thing: how to achieve the state of expansion of consciousness. 2.5 thousand years ago, Buddhists wrote how to transform anger or jealousy - the same gives emotional intelligence.

If I have 10 thousand hours in the field of emotional intelligence, I can guarantee the result, in karate - no. But I will not renounce, maybe at 60 I will understand that I want to teach.>

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